she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
