I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
