SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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