where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The ass gains better be worth it
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