If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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