Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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