these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
