ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I feel great
I just peed on a car
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
