ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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