ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
