What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
