It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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