Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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