Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
