Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
