We won't sleep together?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
