You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
