i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
