no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
