You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I faked an abortion last night.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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