Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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