Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
