Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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