After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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