Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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