Kiss
Puke
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
