Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
