just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
PANTIES FOUND
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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