I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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