Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
