escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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