Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
