It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
