I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
