i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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