I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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