After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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