I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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