I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
