I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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