I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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