I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
