This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
