Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize