i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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