I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize