Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
