If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
