Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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