Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
