That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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