11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.