Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/

(973): View more from New Jersey

Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.

(859): View more from Kentucky

Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?

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(859): I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/ (973): Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room. (859): Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan? http://tfl.nu/hrwu

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So how was he last night?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Five-minute foot-long.

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(508): So how was he last night? (617): Five-minute foot-long. http://tfl.nu/89p0

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(602): View more from Arizona

69 |D_O

(1-602): View more from Arizona

wtf does that mean??

(602): View more from Arizona

it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

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(602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega

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(216): View more from Ohio

i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.

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(216): i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure. http://tfl.nu/jrrk

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(843): View more from South Carolina

70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.

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(843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up. http://tfl.nu/l18e

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(631): View more from New York

even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away

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(631): even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away http://tfl.nu/ld5s

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(440): View more from Ohio

mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.

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(440): mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again. http://tfl.nu/qawl

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(816): View more from Missouri

Absence makes the cock grow harder.

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(816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1

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(706): View more from Georgia

They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods

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(706): They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods http://tfl.nu/a68f

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.

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(702): I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks. http://tfl.nu/qdu7

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(361): View more from Texas

I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.

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(361): I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off. http://tfl.nu/sc97

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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(+44): all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no http://tfl.nu/jen9

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(731): View more from Tennessee

You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.

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(731): You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely. http://tfl.nu/nb0c

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(410): View more from Maryland

My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.

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(410): My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/noz9

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(845): View more from New York

I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin

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(845): I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin http://tfl.nu/w07j

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