I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.