He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend