Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
third nipple confirmed
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
