Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
