Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My ass is underappreciated
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
