My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
