he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
