He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
