Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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