no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
